Have you ever had a terrific idea which you didn’t act on? Of course you have. I don’t mean anything fancy either. Nothing earth-shattering. Just a plain old-fashioned good idea which would have made you more money.
But you didn’t get moving on it.
Oh well.
I have a friend I’ll call James. James is an independent management consultant and a deep, creative thinker. I have great respect for his abilities to understand his clients and develop unique solutions for them. But he isn’t very successful. His business is ok, but hardly booming–and certainly not where he says he’d like it to be. He works with interesting people–just never enough of them. And aside from soliciting referrals, he does nothing to increase his overall practice.
The funny thing is, this guy has more brilliant ideas about how to build his business than anyone I know. The problem is he doesn’t implement any of them. James is just one of those people who stops before he ever gets started.
So much for James. What about you?
Do you have more ideas than action steps? Why don’t you just get going?
I encounter this issue often with people who have tons of great ideas about what to do next, that never get implemented. And they want to know why.
Have you thought about what stops you from acting on ideas or programs which could bring rich rewards?
I have, and I think there are several simple reasons.
1. Lack of an inspiring, motivating purpose
Why should we do anything? Why indeed! That missing why is called purpose. Without a strong purpose the urgent things take over. The ringing telephone takes over. “You’ve Got Mail” takes over. The knock at the door takes over. Inertia takes over.
In physics we learn that it takes additional energy to break free of inertia. A powerful purpose adds that energy. Energy that organizes your actions, and brings the important things to the fore. To break free of the inertia of your current routine, you need an inspiring purpose.
2. No clear vision
Imagine yourself at a six-way intersection in a fog so thick you can’t see a single landmark. You can’t even read the road signs. Which way will you go? If you do pick a direction, will you be confident about setting out, or will you proceed slowly, hoping for the fog to clear a bit before you pick up the pace?
Everybody wants to go somewhere–at least everybody in business does. But without a clear vision you can’t see where you want to go. And if you don’t see it, you won’t proceed aggressively and confidently on a course toward it– whatever it is–will you? So even if you craft a plan–to take you…somewhere, you aren’t likely to execute it. At least not anytime soon.
3. Not willing to make sacrifices or do the work
You already have more than enough to do, and whatever else you take on means something has to be set aside. Sacrifice means giving up something of value for something of even greater value. Which means there is something more valuable to sacrifice for. And you haven’t clarified what that ’something’ is. Or maybe you aren’t sure that it is worth it.
In this same category I put: giving up free time, relaxation time, play time, or whatever. But it always comes down to sacrifice, and the big question is, is it worth it. (By the way, I plead guilty to this one. There are times when I feel I have something important to accomplish, I just don’t feel it’s important enough to get off the couch for. What gets me moving is reciting the litany of purpose: “Why did I feel it was important? And what will happen because of that? And why is THAT important? And so on.)
4. Lack of belief
If you are certain something will work, there is no risk and you will likely take action. On the other hand, if you are uncertain–and most things are uncertain to some degree–you wonder if it the risk is worth it.
So what do you believe? Do you believe your actions will pay off or not? If you aren’t sure, how much effort will you put into it? Will you hesitate? Postpone? Procrastinate? Go at half-speed?
Or maybe ‘it’ will work, in someone’s hands, but you don’t believe it will work in yours. In other words, you lack of confidence that you can get it done, and the risk is too great.
Each of these issues can be addressed by having a powerful purpose–and an inspiring set goals to achieve. When these are strong enough, they make the potential reward that much bigger and alter the risk-reward ratio in favor of action.
5. Fear
Sometimes it comes down to fear. You have a vision and a purpose, and you think the risks are acceptable. But what if it doesn’t work out. Then what? That’s fear. It won’t work out the way you want it to. What will you be left with then? Or even worse, not only will it not work out, but something bad will come as a result of it.
6. Everything else
You just have other things to do. Like what? Like the day- to-day stuff of running your business or doing your job. You can’t just keep piling it on, can you? No, you can’t. The question is, are the things you are already doing all worth while? Should some of it be delegated? Should some of it be dumped, or put on the back burner?
Once again, you must weight what you are already doing against your purpose and goals. If your existing action set is effectively driving you towards your goals, there’s no need to do more. But if you aren’t moving sure-footedly in that direction, then you need to shift things around and make room for what will.
You may have to realign your priorities, and reevaluate your options so that your available time and energy is dedicated to moving you in the right direction.
What about you?
What stops you? Any one of these six things can hold you back, or it may be a combination of things. Once you identify what stops you, it is much easier to address and get moving. Now you can transform your ideas into an action plan.
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Business Coach, Paul Lemberg is the President of Quantum Growth Coaching, the world’s only fully systemized business coaching program helping entrepreneurs to rapidly create More Profits and More Life?. Guaranteed.
The human psyche seems to have a pendant for projecting our shortcomings onto others, but also our good traits.
Without the other we would not be able to know the self: they are our mirrors.
If you want to know whether your hair looks great or if your new coat suits you, you take a look in the mirror, don?t you? You need that mirror to be able to look at your outer appearance.
The same counts for your inner world. If you want to have a look at yourself inside, look into the mirror, which is other people : the traits you hate in them and the ones you love in them. This tells more about you than you think! In fact, you hate and love those traits which you pushed away into your shadow zone, which you decided you don?t want to see (the negative traits you condamned as ?bad? or ?no good?), or those which you decided you don?t have (the positive traits, which you call ?good? and which you would like to have but you think you don?t have them).
In order to see inside yourself, look at what disturbs you in others and what you admire in others. All these traits are energies you pushed away and which you need to recover. That?s why this bothers or attracts you now in your life.
What we condemn or detest in others are our own qualities that we don?t want to face, but that we should be working at. This is called the negative projection. What you don?t like in others, or even hate, is a part of yourself.
When the indifference of another person disturbs you, it means that you should be more indifferent yourself and stop to invest yourself for 100% everywhere and with everyone! This doesn?t mean you have to become as indifferent, cold and distant as the other person, but that you should reintegrate a part of this energy in your own behavior, and become a little less involved in what you do. Too much involvment can hurt you. You need to learn in this case to take more care of yourself instead of being so focused on the other one.
If you are balanced on this polarity of indifference (one extreme) and too much involvment (the other extreme), than the indifference of the other won’t bother you anymore. This counts for every trait that bothers you in others! You should integrate the energy of this trait in your energy field. This means to become a little bit more like the other (in this exemple : indifferent) and become the opposite to yourself (more involved in your own well being).
When you start to integrate the behavior that disturbs you in others, you will notice that this behavior doesn?t disturb you anymore. You simply don?t notice it anymore. You have integrated this energy, so now you become neutral towards this topic.
When the aggressive behavior of a partner or colleagues is getting to you, then you may have to learn to say ?no?, defend your ground and clearly mark the borders. The fact that somebody?s aggression disturbs you proves that you have hidden that energy away in your shadow side. You can reclaim that energy and develop it in other ways that support your balance in life.
This counts for every behavior in others that disturbs you. This is the fastest way to grow and to keep up with others at the same time!
On a scale of polarities, what you hate is the polarity you didn?t develop inside you and you should. Life showes you this in the behavior of the significant other. In stead of hating him or his behavior, observe, ask yourself what you have to learn, learn it, integrate (you become a better person, a whole, complete person) and the screen of life will show you a more balanced person!
In the same way, the good traits you admire in others are your own qualities that you don?t know you have. You think you are lacking these talents and admire them thus in others. These qualities are present within yourself but they are ?under construction? and also need developing. They are, however, a mirror image of your highest abilities. This is the positive projection.
Think of a male person and a female person you admire, and who you know in real life. Make a list of the qualities and traits you admire in them. Then read this list again and say out loud in front of each quality : ?I am??.
Let?s say you admire the elegance and the organizational skills of your best friend. This means you too have the capacity to organize your life and things and you too are beautiful, otherwise you would even not be able to see it in others! You do have the germ of these qualities inside, otherwise you wouldn?t be able to notice them.
This list clearly represents who you are. This is the truth about you. These qualities are INSIDE of you. They are merely waiting to be discovered, expanded and expressed.
You can do the same with people you don?t know personally, like movie stars, singers, historical figures, politicians, mythical figures, fairies?.List their qualities and read for yourself : ?I am??
In the beginning you?re maybe sceptical, you won?t believe you possess yourself these qualities. But have a closer look and admit the possibility of having these qualities inside you in the form of seeds that need to be cultivated in order to blossom.
What you don?t have inside yourself, you can not see in others!
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Written by Ineke Van Lint, psychologist and spiritual counselor. She helps you find your own path and create your very own success! On her website www.theenthusiasm.com she offers you two free e-courses and many free articles. You can now decide to be happy and to manifest your highest purpose on earth!
Picking the right divorce attorney is a critical decision. Divorce lawyers are your guides through the legal system. They are your teachers about your legal rights and obligations.
At a time when you?re not in your peak decision-making form, you have many important questions to answer when you?re finding a divorce attorney. Should you get a shark who can duke it out in court? If you and your ex feel you can separate amicably, do you even need a lawyer? If you?re already separated, will you ever need your lawyer again? What do you need to know about working with them effectively?
I am not a lawyer myself, but I have definitely been a client. In my divorce I was in the legal system off and on for almost three years, including almost a year of mediating my separation agreement. I?ve encountered many wonderful lawyers, and many not so wonderful lawyers. It?s important you find a legal professional that views you as a human being with a family, not just as a case.
Here are some important things to bear in mind when you?re working with a divorce lawyer.
You Are the Quarterback
While lawyers are a part of your divorce team, you must be the quarterback. It?s like when you are renovating a home. You can hire an architect, a designer, a contractor and a painter who all have their expertise to bring. But ultimately, you?re the one who has to wake up in the morning and live in the house. Your lawyer may have a lot of answers for you, but you need to be the ultimate decision-maker and call the shots.
Most Lawyers Are Trained as Gladiators
The legal system is adversarial and pits one party against the other. Many lawyers are trained with the ?us vs. them? mindset. Particularly if you have children together, you?ll need to consider how you can have a long-term, hopefully cooperative, relationship with your former partner long after the case is over. Make sure that your lawyer understands your long-term goals as well.
Trust your Gut
Pay attention to your own intuition when selecting a lawyer. Does the lawyer speak English or legalese? How well does the lawyer listen? How about answering the question you actually asked? Can you trust him? Will the lawyer be available to answer your calls in a timely way? What is the lawyer?s track record of going to court or not? Is she a family law specialist? You?re entrusting your lawyer with so much, it?s important the lawyer values you as a person, not just as another file.
Think Outside the Box
There are options for working out the details of your divorce other than going to court. Think outside the courtroom box and consider divorce mediation or collaborative law. In divorce mediation, you work with a trained mediator who acts as a neutral third party to negotiate details of your agreement with you. Each party will have their own lawyer. In a mediation, you and your ex work together with a divorce mediator to hammer out a deal, going back to your lawyers to get legal advice on your solutions and how best to craft your solutions in your agreement.
In a collaborative arrangement, both lawyers work side-by-side with their clients to create agreement. Other related professionals, like financial planners, divorce coaches or therapists and parenting advocate can be part of the collaborative team. The intention upfront of all parties is to settle the divorce out of court. In fact, both lawyers must sign an agreement that if they are not able to reach an agreement, they cannot represent their clients in any future court proceedings.
Instead of their incentive being to drag the process out, collaborative lawyers have an incentive to reach agreement. The collaborative process offers a more respectful and humane way to end your marriage, and fortunately more and more clients are finding out about it and looking for attorneys with specialized collaborative training.
Getting divorced and navigating the legal system isn?t easy and can be overwhelming. It?s worth the time and energy upfront to find the right divorce lawyer for you who can be part of the solution, and not part of the problem.
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Author and spiritual divorce coach, Carolyn B. Ellis, founded Thrive after Divorce Inc. to help separated and divorced individuals improve relationships, increase self-confidence and save time and heartache. She is the author of The 7 Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to Avoid to Help Your Children Thrive After Divorce. Visit www.thriveafterdivorce.com
Copyright 2006 Audrey Burton
Targeting your marketing is the cornerstone to a successful marketing plan. But, what if you?re in a business that is in a highly competitive market? A good example of a highly commoditized business includes residential real estate.
There are many, many residential real estate agents who charge about the same amount for their services, regardless of the type of home.
In a highly commoditized business, competition is often based solely on price. For example, if you wanted to purchase manila file folders and there were a drug store and an office supply store selling identical items, next door to each other, you would likely purchase the less expensive item.
The same can be true for businesses ? the more commoditized, the more likely you will compete based on price. It doesn?t have to be that way, and I advise you not to go that route!
Let?s again consider the RE agent. Since the commission received for selling a home is about the same for everyone, the agent MUST differentiate herself from others. If she begins to compete on price and cuts her commission, she devalues herself, and it?s difficult to climb out of that hole.
If the client does any comparison shopping, and they will, you need to be prepared. Here are examples of ways in which a RE agent can differentiate herself:
(1.) years of experience
(2.) expertise in a specific type of home ($1MM+, condos, co-ops, etc.)
(3.) expertise in a certain neighborhood/area
(4.) education level
(5.) types of clients serviced (entertainers, first-time buyers, Spanish-speaking)
(6.) awards won
(7.) sense of humor/personality!
When the potential client is shopping around, it is important for you to stand out, to be remembered. Don?t always use all your points of differentiation; pick the best one and sell it. In addition, make sure your points of differentiation are actually DIFFERENT than what your competition says about themselves! Don?t use generalities like ?best service?, ?highest quality? or ?great value?. Be specific!! These statements are like so much white noise ? your target won?t even hear them.
If you have a more unique, less commoditized business, like a small business coach for example, it is still important to understand your points of difference in case the prospect asks. Even if they don?t ask, it can sometimes help you in your sales interaction (website, business card, networking, advertising, in person meeting) to mention your differences. My points of differentiation include:
(1.) 50% longer coaching sessions than ?average?
(2.) practical, not metaphysical or spiritual, approach
(3.) lots of flexibility in appointment timing
(4.) no long-term contracts
In hearing your points, the prospect may lose interest in shopping around and be more convinced to make a purchase, or she may know right away that yours is not the right product for her. This is better for you, also, as you are not wasting your time continuing to follow up for nothing.
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Audrey Burton is a practical Small Business Coach. She eliminates business/marketing overwhelm and gets you excited to work on your business again! To sign up for her free, monthly email newsletter, visit her site: www.TigressCoaching.com .
